What I ate and what I didn't

On the birthday I consumed:
one glass of champagne
a bite of a donut - I normally would have finished the donut even if it was horrible but I couldn't help but think 'it is sooo not worth it'.

Today I consumed:
I had this box of Belgian chocolates that came with a birthday gift. I gave all the chocolate away except for one piece. Had one bite and then threw the rest away.

Tonight I run. Whee!

Day One million and nine - 26!

Today is my birthday. And the only thing I have interest in doing this evening is going for a run (one month until a half-marathon) and then watching a movie. I'm not even craving a cupcake or baked brie. Again with this amazing progress: You guys! I DON'T WANT CHEESE.

Day 113 - OMG and Work and My birthday

At the start of the summer before I started the PCP I didn't think about work. I mean, I knew I had trips coming up but I didn't think that I would be spending so much of my life in Washington, DC hanging out in the airport. But that is where I have been. Hanging out in airports, train stations and in my car and oh yes! It is also birthday time. I bet if you ask someone what keeps them from focusing on themselves and their health, their first answer would be family and then work.
I also cannot believe it's day 113.
Also, also, I can run six miles without wanting to punch someone in the neck.
Also, also, also, I continue to be amazed by my progress.

Day 104 - Svelte and clothes and such

So this is me the other night. In a dress I haven't worn in like two years because it made me look very pregnant. And I'm wearing leggings because why not?
I'm finding that I'm losing weight in a very...uh...interesting way: My legs, hips and thighs and arms have lost inches at an alarming speed but what is in my stomach is still there. Though much less but still it's all very jarring to notice that I can't wear the same tights I wore last winter because they are falling off my ass but the mid-section. Murr.

There is more coming about how I really feel about 'Peak Condition' and how felt at the beginning vs. how I feel now and what I think Peak Condition means. But for now a photo of me looking 'svelte' as Mel Sidwell said. I'm about to go speak at a closing session of a conference. In a dress a size smaller than I wore before. Joy.

Day 96 - Too early

I'm up at an ungodly hour for a Saturday for a run and a workout. It's also freezing. Basically I'm miserable, sober and cold. But my pants are too big. So there is that.

Day 91 - With Ease

I should be jumping for joy right now and screaming done from the rooftops but I am not. And I'm really ok with that. I am NOT in peak condition and that is the whole point of this project. So I keep on keeping on hoping that by the end of this - which is approximately three weeks before my first half marathon - I'll be in kick ass shape.

Over the weekend I ran a route I've run hundreds of times but this time was by far the easiest. There are hills and random spots of gravel and trees and I did it like it was nothing. Instead of lumbering along on the straight aways I was all head up, back straight and clipping along. It was an amazing feeling. I wanted to get to this point so I'm happy with the progress; an ability to run without feeling suicidal 11 minutes in. It was - dare I say - easy.

Shockingly I did it without music just to the sound and time of my breathing and pace. Which allowed me to follow and listen to my breathing and pace. It was far off from the days of yore where I would jog along on the treadmill but could only do 30 entire minutes if The Hills was on. And to do it without music? Ha Ha HAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Last week I stopped at the gym for a bit as per our homework and saw the scantily clad college girls flipping through In Style while moving at a snail's pace on the elliptical. I'd bet they would later drink their dinner (PBR or Bud light? Tough choice) but claim it was ok because of those 30 minutes on the elliptical. I didn't look amazing while in there but there was this sense of empowerment knowing how far I've come in this process. But I still have a hell of a lot more to do.

Day 84 - 125 Days

Back in July when I was going through a 'slump' - in quotes because not working out and drinking every night is more like an utter fail but 'slump' sound so much nicer - Patrick offered to let me continue on with the PCP for 125 days instead of the standard 90. And I quickly said yes. There was no hemming or hawing and thinking about it, it is the right thing to do for me.

I continue to be disappointed in myself for letting my health catapult down a steep hill. I allowed my emotions to get the better of me (work, followed by having my heart broken followed by two family deaths within five weeks of each other) and neglected to pay attention to the rest of my life. I ended up depressed (duh) (also I have bipolar disorder and so I'm depressed pretty frequently but the aforementioned events helped none of that) and eating at McDonald's because I was tired. And then there was that time I immediately left work and high tailed it to Cold Stone and ordered a sundae the size of my ass which would contribute to the size of my ass. HA HA ohhhhh. Then there was my new found Jack Daniel's habit which came from who knows where but whiskey is delicious. And then I ended up at 250 lbs. Clothes came with not one X but two.

I had to suck in my stomach to get a size 16 on and even then there was a visible line of demarcation on my stomach and a nice pouch that was formed. Basically I looked like sausage casing.

There were other things but I think I've divulged enough and I'm thankful that you cannot see me so I don't have to actually hide under my desk though I feel like it.

I have no clue how much I weigh right now except that it's a hell of a lot less than 250 lbs. What I do know is that an extra 35 days will be good for me and then a half marathon in November. There was something else I was going to say here probably something wistful and hopeful but I can't remember it now.

Anyway 125 days. I'm looking forward to the pain.