Day 61 - Eh

1) Mel Sidwell and I have been discussing our relative illnesses via Twitter. Mine was a reaction to medication that I knew would be over and done with after two days. And today I'm perfectly fine and about to head to the gym. Whoo.

2) Patrick mentioned what we should tell people who ask how we're getting into shape the interesting part is that I've told like three people. I haven't even told my blog readers and my God there is rarely anything that I don't tell them. I figure I'll tell them come November.

3) Why November you ask? Well I'll tell you why; it's because I'm doing 125 days of FUN because I NEED 125 days of this because Rome wasn't built in a day and I didn't gain 53 lbs in 90 days.

4) Here's a quick story: My mother never invites me over for dinner. I mean NEVER. So she just texted me with an invite for dinner. The menu: Fried chicken and potato salad. Why mother I do love fried chicken and potato salad but OMFG...I...no words. The second I got that text I came here because it's infuriating.

5) The really tiny t-shirt I'm wearing in my most recent PCP photo is really very tiny. It's one of those American Apparel shirts that I would never have worn um like 61 days ago because it wouldn't have gone past my boobs. Yay progress! I'm looking forward to seeing how it fits come day 125.

Day 53: Two conversations about one thing

Conversation 1: Me and my mother

Her: "Oh, there's some of that salmon pate that you like in the fridge at the house"
Me: "I can't eat it. I'm still doing that thing where I weigh my food"
Her: "Oh", looking dejected, "well can't you just weigh it out"
Me: Incredulous. "Uh, no. That's not really how it works"

***

Conversation 2: Me and two friends

I'm currently on vacation and we had been out to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. North Carolina pulled pork was my indulgence (ok, I had a half a shot of vodka earlier in the week).

Husband: "Look at that. Do you see that Ben? She didn't even finish all of her food. I'm appalled"
Me: Taking one more measly bite. I ate all the veggies (corn) but left the cornbread and the roll because I wanted to just focus on the pork. Ok and my beer. I had A beer. Shoot me!
Husband: "I can't believe you didn't eat that. That's a shame"
Wife: (after getting up from the table) "Ignore him. You look really great by the way"
Me: "That's what I was trying to tell you, I haven't had anything that heavy in quite awhile and that was A LOT of food and I'm not really used to it"
Wife: "Oh, well that makes sense"

I'm kind of in shock by what I crave now. I seriously used to dream about cheeseburgers and now I look forward to my milk times in the morning and at night and all the new fruits I've discovered. Like how I kind of cry when I run out of blueberries and pluots. All hail the pluot.

Day 48 - Duh!

This morning my mother saw me and noted that I look thinner. I'm wearing a dress she's seen dozens of times and each time she'll say something like "whoa, look at those thighs". But today she said I looked nice and didn't comment on my legs except to say that I look thinner.

What I said back: "Oh, thanks"

What I wanted to say back: "NO SHIT. I best be looking better. It hurts to walk and yesterday during my run I wanted to cry and one should never wince when laughing!"

Day 41 - Houston, we have a problem

The problem is a loss of appetite. I don't know if it's a normal thing because I'm not stuffing my face every five minutes just because I'm sitting here bored out of my skull OR if it's because of some crazy aversion to carbohydrates. I think it's the former; that once upon a time, a long 41 days ago I would just eat and eat and not really think about it and now I'm conscious of everything I put in my mouth and so I'm just not eating as much as I was before.

I dunno. Other than that my ass seems to be getting smaller. But more on that later...

Day 35 - All About Me

Yesterday I had a conversation with Patrick where he said, "I know you're really busy..." and I am really busy. I'm "really busy" all of the time and the "really busy" BS is starting to get "really annoying". Of course that isn't what Patrick was saying. He was commiserating and letting me know how I needed to go about involving the PCP into my busy schedule. And after our talk I was pretty pissed off at myself. The talk went well. The PCP is back on track but it was that awful realization that as much of a narcissist I can be, I've never made being healthy a priority. I've never put it first. Work or writing or going out with a friend have come before going on a quick run. It's like I'll pull any excuse out of my "really busy" repetoire to avoid working out.

I really need to stop that.

I also really need to stop plastering a paragraph with "really".

Day 31 - Backwards and Forward

So, I'm finally home. Oh my hell. I've never experienced such pure orgasmic bliss as when I first stepped into the co-op roughly 20 minutes after my flight landed.

Screw going to get gas or seeing my family, I needed some cherries dammit!

So I've been eating SO much better, in turn I feel so much better.

Remind me to tell you later about how I measured out and purchased all sorts of non-refridgerated items before my time away and then remind me to tell you what happened to those four bananas.

Also, I'm going back. To day 21.

Day 24 - So this isn't good

I'm on a 9 day trip from Philly to Chicago and then finally home for two straight months. It hasn't been going as well as I had hoped. It's the total road to hell is paved with good intentions and I had the best of intentions. I brought fruit on the train. I brought chicken and quinoa perfectly proportioned for lunch and then...and then...conferency things happen. I end up snacking and not eating well. But working out counts for something, right? I didn't schlep all of my workout gear through two states to give up. And so I'm not. But I cannot wait to get home and get back to my routine. My body is even rebelling wondering why I'm not doing what I was doing before. Once again I feel like a bit of a failure yet I know that Sunday cannot come soon enough.